i want to talk about but i cant...

i've been dealing with some stuff lately some of it my fault some of it thiers. the hard part of it is trying to have a good, right attitude....like a Christian one.....Yea about that totally failing right now. we eventually talked and made peace...to some degree anyway. not gonna lie still kinda mad about it but now im starting to swing the opposite way on the pendulum...as in not caring at all.
its not great...really. I think the worst part is I feel the most unchristian at church. i dunno, maybe part of it is that burnout, or my walk but i jst want things to go back to the way they were before.... im literary counting the days.
anyway...then after i think maybe we're on our way past it..something else
happens that hurts just as much...being replaced.
the incidents in and of themselves are not as hurtful as thinking of them.

anywho if you made it through reading that, thanks.
I realize it made no sense but it feels good expressing some of this.

general foolishness and the black swan

so after seek the kids were jumping chairs in the hallway.
I used to do track and long jump back in the day, so this looked
like fun, but I was kinda worried i wouldn't be able to clear them
so I waited till everyone was gone....and i could!

5 chairs


6 chairs #failblog


...yea about that. my ankle still hurts.
but it was fun.

So tonight I fianlly went and saw black swan...


I was somehow under the impression that it was going to be like wicker park...but not really. i was on the edge of my seat the whole time.
the ending killed me though. i couldnt even figure
out what emotion i was feeling..sadness, sympathy, fear. it was overwhelming.
overall a good movie. but too real, i like movies to be an escape from reality.

well its been awhile

well its been awhile no promises about blogging regularly but i'll try
for now a brief thought...

I get really depressed going to stores this time of year..
it makes me realize what i dont have, and I dont mean stuff.
kind of makes me feel like this...


so to distract my mind I watched an action movie and a comedy..
the expendables and an oldie...well not that old: my bosses daughter
its supposed to snow or precipitate tonight but so far havent seen a flake.
atlanta was pretty well shutdown by the same storm yesterday.
anywho its late, gotta get up early...